I was in about the 7th grade when a cute teenage girl, who was sitting in front of me, slid back in her chair until her buttocks barely touched my knee (which as a gangly 6 ft. boy was protruding into the open space in the back of her desk chair).
I didn't move. I lost track of what the teacher was saying.
The touch of a girl's buttocks, even with my knee was new and exciting. She didn't move either. She kept sitting there, sort of squirming in her chair against my knee.
I can still remember how wonderful that felt (it's OK to make fun of me if you want), but...
Then, I didn't even know much about what a woman's private parts look like. We didn't have internet (1972) and "R" rated movies were new and considered taboo. I did not have a phone in my pocket that could show naked photos, and if we sent a text message, it was printed on a sheet of notebook paper using a #2 yellow pencil.
What I knew about sex pretty much came from watching animals around the house. A dog that had puppies and cats that went crazy on the front lawn. I'd watch through the window and suffer through about 30 minutes of cats screaming and crying to see 2 seconds of the Tom cat grabbing our Pussy Cat by the scruff of the neck and doing the deed (while other Tom Cats waited in line).
A few weeks later, kittens would show up and presto: sex education school!
Then in the 11th grade (a few yearsafter my testosterone was pumping) a football coach taught a week of "Sex Education" at my high school. The girls went for a week separately with their woman coach and the boys (that was me) went with a male coach and for a week we had "sex education school." You probably guessed that I did NOT learn the 10-Sex Secrets I'm about to share while attending these classes back in 1976.
But, the sex-education-teacher/football-coach was nice enough. Now, at 52 years-old (34 years later), I still remember some of the jokes he told about a friend of his in the army with a penis so long he would use it as a club on other men when they took a shower...it went down hill from there. But, I think (somewhere between the jokes) he did tell us how to put on a condom (I'm not sure about that part--I just remember the jokes since they were so bad you couldn't forget them).
Then there was college...
I went to a good enough school, Birmingham-Southern College. Liberal Arts. Chemistry and Math major but took lots of Biology since I wanted to go to medical school. In biology I took genetics and other courses and knew about as much as someone with a bachelor's in science could know about how babies are made.
But still nothing about how to have fun in bed much less anything about the spiritual and energetic qualities that can be tapped by sex--about sex as the scaffolding of love (as Emerson called it) or the foundation of genius and heroism (Thoreau in Walden).
About this time, I did a weird sex experiment on own my body that I described in a book, Anytime..for as Long as You Want (which was the best selling sex manual on Amazon.com from 2004 until 2008). That weird experiment caused me to gain about 60lbs of muscle in a year and tuned up my brain to where I could read calculus-based physical chemistry like the newspaper.
I also read, then, like crazy, some of the esoteric writings from the East and developed my own way of extending love making using a combination of 9 techniques. But, still, sex education--even on a college level, at least in class, was about how to make babies. I learned the other stuff on my own.
Bottom line of college: we learned the details of the basics of reproduction-that's all.
Then, came medical school...
Here I was lucky.
Part of our psychology teachings included a few weeks of sex education school. In one of the first lectures, the professor showed a movie.
Before starting the movie he said, "I want everyone in this room to know that female ejaculation is real."
Then he showed a movie of woman masturbating until she squirted across the room with an eyes-rolled-back-in-her-head orgasm. But, even here, nothing was said about how to help women find this place. It was more of simply, "This is real; if a woman happens to be plagued with this, then tell her it's OK, that there's nothing serious to worry about.
We will get to more about ejaculation and the 10 Secrets, but first I want to explain more about the...
The Goofing Us Up Part...
So, all the way through high-school, college, and medical school; what did I learn from my sex education? That sperm combines with an egg to make a baby. There were many details taught about how this happens but still--NOTHING was taught about how to have fun in bed and of course not even a hint that there may be some ways to use sex in very amazing, life-changing ways (even though Freud talked about it, as well as others, for at least the past 2,000 years).
What we learned in sex education school was how to make a baby (and the corollary: how to keep from making a baby) and how to keep from getting sick while making a baby (from HIV and syphilis and other big scary plagues/disasters). Pretty utilitarian study of the force that causes men to risk life and limb to be with the woman who risks life bearing the offspring of their passion.
After listening to the 3,000 plus women for whom I did hormone replacement,
I can promise you this happens more than most men know...
We were goofed up (sort of) because we (you and I) both knew while in school that there is a spiritual, emotional, and physical art to sex (from events like brushing a buttocks with a knee) and with the results of sex (good or bad), but we were left to the priests and the porn movies and the back seat of a car to learn what to do with this most important part!! Perhaps you were lucky enough to have parents who talked with you. But, studies show that many of the parents who talk with children (and most of them don't), do not teach accurate information [Eisenberg ME et al., Parents' beliefs about condoms and oral contraceptives: Are they medically accurate? Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health, 36(2):50–57, 2004.].
Does that surprise you? Considering that even as a physician, I had to learn most of what I know about sex from outside my school?
Maybe, I was unusual and even though I graduated with a 4.0 from high school, with honors from college, and the top 5% on my board exams in medicine--maybe I missed a class along the way?
Bottom line: you and I were left to learn the most important parts (not the part about how to have a baby) about the most powerful earthly force (second only to G--) from priests (& remember they're supposed to be celibate--as in they don't have sex) and from porn flicks and from lovers who had the same coach you did for their sex education school teacher.
I'm told that such is not the case with those of the Eastern part of the planet earth. But, even though that's the rumor, and though I'm a huge admirer of the East Indian culture, the Japanese, and the Chinese, the beauty, the spirituality, the work ethic--but none of even my East Indian friends have read the complete Kama Sutras (much less studied them seriously). So, I fear, that even in the East, that the situation differs little.
What Men Don't Know Can Hurt Them...Don't Let This Happen to You...
I never was the star athlete and was not very attractive as a teenager. I even had the nickname of professor (and looked a lot like Napoleon Dynamite) when in high school and weighed only 145 pounds then at 6 ft. 2 inches tall.
So, I was not very popular as a date. So, what did I do? I over compensated by studying like crazy about sex and how to make it very good. I read, and read, and when I thought I knew everything, I kept reading (out side my regular school studies).
And I practiced.
And I practiced.
Then, after medical school, after doing research on growth hormone replacement, I took care of around 3,000 women doing their hormone replacement and helping them with sexual dysfunction. In the process of helping these women one thing shocked me...
First, note that after talking to over 3,000 women about the details of their sex life and hormones and helping them to solve their problems, I developed some medical techniques that work.
Second (and this is the part that shocked me) many of my women patients became so healthy and increased their libido so much that they divorced their husband (who a few months ago criticized her for having a low sex drive) because now the man could not keep up with her in bed.
Many (really very many) women cried in my office because they loved their husband dearly but did not have the courage to tell him that he was not meeting her needs. Or, even more disturbing, the wife would tell the husband and he would not come to me or to anyone else for help (still only about 10% of the men who would benefit from medical treatment actually see a physician). Did these guys really think they learned all they ever need to know from that coach back in high school?
I want to tell you THE BIGGEST MISTAKE THAT MOST MEN MAKE IN THE BEDROOM...
But, FIRST, I want to give you a quiz to see how much you've picked up in your quest for better sex:
Test of Sexual Knowledge that Leads to Amazing Sex...
The Problem--Where do you go to find the secrets?
And since your parents didn't tell you (doubt they knew), your coach didn't tell you (he didn't have to work very hard to impress 16-year-old cheerleaders), and you didn't learn it in college or even in professional school...where do you go?!
They Laughed When I Said, "I'm Starting a Sex Education School."
But, then, when they heard what' I've done...
You could read everything you could find about sex (for 30 years) in the medical literature and in the popular press. You could study the ancient writings of the Kama Sutras--the whole thing, and practice what you learn. You could (examine as a physician) a few thousand women over the next 10 years and treat them for sexual disorders and learn from their treatment strategies what won't be in the text books for another 10 to 20 years (takes 10 years to prove a new therapy and another 10 for it to become common practice). You could go to sex/nudist colonies and learn. You could become lovers with bisexual women and learn from them. You could talk to priests and pimps and read what both have to say about sex. You could do hormone replacement for homosexual men and help them build their relationships. You could pray and study art and the great love poetry of Shakespeare and others. You could live celibate for a year and avoid any sexual contact (not even have an orgasm). You could read about hormones and do research with hormones and their effects on sex and emotions. You could live on 3 dozen raw eggs a day and watch for effects on libido and sex. You could become vegetarian and do the same experiment. You could be doctor to men trastitioning to women (and help them as a physician by changing their hormones). You could help diabetic men find their sexual libido and function again by combining therapies as their physician. You could interview a few prostitutes and sex surrogates. You could even have sex with a few women who had worked in prostitution--repeatedly, learning as much as you can from their experience. You could study new techniques for rejuvenating the genitalia and even develop a few of your own. You could study nutrition and herbology and pharmacology and find what works best to make sex better. You could work in the emergency room for 12 years (where the embarrassed go for treatment of sexually transmitted diseases) and become proficient in diagnosis and treatment of those disorders. You could live devoted and married for 12 years. You could live wild and single and have every kind of sex you wanted. You could study massage under great practitioners. You could study and practice both hatha and kria Yoga and practice meditation in the mountains until you had no desire for sex or for anything on earth--for a time. You could fall so passionately in love that you risk life and reputation and spend your last dime for one moment with your lover--even knowing that it cannot last. You could read what the psychologists, the poets, the philosophers, and the money gurus have to say about sex energy (See the chapter in Think and Grow Rich about Sex Transmutation) and experiment with those principles for the next 30 years. You could cut the testicles from a freshly killed deer and put them in your milk shake. You could roam the forest and gather fresh ginseng and eat the roots while the dirt still smells rich and fresh while you are still walking to find your way back to a paved road. You could cry when you lost your wife, and you could stay up all night trying to figure out how to talk to your child about what to do with his penis (now that it's starting to grow). You could have the love of your life deny you and leave you for another. And you could have sex so amazing and sacred that it turned into prayer. You could write a book about sex that is helpful enough to be the best selling sex manual on Amazon.com for 4 years; then you could consult by phone with brilliant men and brilliant women from around the world who called to ask more about the techniques described in that book.
YOU COULD DO ALL OF THE ABOVE, OR YOU COULD JUST LISTEN CAREFULLY TO SOMEONE WHO ALREADY DID!!!
I'm both proud and ashamed to say that I've done every thing on that long and crazy list--and more. I want to pour as much of what I've learned as possible into your brain TO HELP YOU BUILD THE SCAFFOLDING OF LOVE--amazing sex that forms a structure on which to support the growth of the love of your life.
Perhaps I over compensated for looking like Napoleon Dynamite? Who really cares. Still, after all of this, I'm still a beginner--really.
Still learning. And still teaching. But, with my research, I'm seeing fewer patients these days...
So to help get the word out about this very important subject, I'm starting a 10-week course on sex: Sex Education School for Adults in Love. It will meet weekly on Thursday nights at 7 central time (but will be recorded for listening later in case that time doesn't work for you). At the end of the course, a download of the entire course (audio and visual material) will be available for attendees.
Eventually, many of the women I saw in the office became so frustrated they would leave the husband or take a secret lover. The numbers of women in my practice who did this were large enough that it disturbed me; so I typed out a little hand-out for my women patients to take home to the husbands to help convince the men come see me. My patients had such good results from the hand out, that I thought I might edit it and turn it into a book. I put it on e-bay to see what titles people would buy the most.
People started buying my "book" on ebay and loved it so much, I thought, "What the heck? I'll just sell it like it is."
So, I just put it out there (this was the Anytime book). Sort of like Windows 1.0 on a P.C; it needed lots of edits but it got the job done well enough that people kept buying it and telling me how it made their life and their sex better.
What I learned from that time was that THE BIGGEST MISTAKE MOST MEN MAKE in the bedroom is that they think they know it all and that their lover is as happy as she could be. Most women are afraid to tell their lover that he is not taking care of her in bed--and there is always room for improvement.
But, here's the sad and tragic truth: the majority of guys think they learned all they need to know about sex from that coach that told them dirty jokes in high school and from the first girl with whom they had good sex in the back seat of a car.
A significant number of men (thankfully) with the internet are starting to realize there are other worlds out there to study. But, even this group seems to think a couple of good books on sex and a few porn movies and now they know all there is to know. And, worse, much of what's out their on the internet is just plain wrong [Buhi ER et al., Quality and accuracy of sexual health information web sites visited by young people,Journal of Adolescent Health, 2010, 47(2):206–208].
I know that you're not one of those people who thinks you know it all (you're reading this aren't you?). That's why I'd like to see you in my Sex Education School for Adults in Love.
Every topic mentioned on this page will be covered--plus more. A course like this, should cost at least $500. It's worth the price of two nights in a hotel room to learn the latest research on how to make sex better (and even more importantly learn what I've gathered over the past 20 years from patients and lovers).
But, I want to get this out to as many people as possible. So, I'm offering the whole class for $97. That's a little less than $10 per class.
Complete Money-Back Guarantee for any reason if your sex life is not hotter (good for up to one year to give you plenty of time to practice and implement what you learn).
Three Free Bonuses...
As a bonus, the first 20 people to sign up will get an immediate connection for a free copy of the 3-Day Fat Burn (audio, printed, and grocery list). This course teaches not just how to stay lean but offers some tips on how to use exercise and diet to improve sexual function through hormonal changes.
Topics Covered in this "Sex Education School for Adults in Love."
Female Sex Challenges
Pain with intercourse
Difficulty Having an Orgasm (or complete inability)
Decreased Sex Desire
Side Effects from Birth-Control
Female Ejaculation. Worth the Trip?
Here's a secret, MOST women will have some degree of difficulty with everything on this list occasionally--do you know what to do to bring her (your self) back around?
Male Sex Challenges
Difficulty Getting an Erection
Difficulty Maintaining an Erection
Penis Size Not Satisfactory for Either of the Partners
A Low Sperm Count
Helping a woman to ejaculate
Helping my lover have more pleasure
Is there an erection workout that really works?
Most men will have some degree of difficulty with everything on this list at some time or another. Do you know the latest strategies (and the ancient ways) to bring him (your self) back around?
Challenges Common to Both Male & Female
Sex Drive Does Not Match Sex Drive of Partner
Body Image Makes if Difficult to Be Naked
How Can I Make Sex the Best He/She Will Ever Have?
Sexual Variations/Preferences Do Not Match that of Partner
How Can I Keep Her/Him Interested in Me?
What Can I do to Make My Lover Say "Wow!" After Having Sex with Me?
I've spent the last 10 years helping several thousand people deal with every problem on the above lists--and am still involved in research in this area. The basics count, and I want you to know the latest about every item on these lists, but most of the things on these lists are about keeping sex good (or helping make bad sex good again).
But, what about how to make good sex become amazing? I want you to know the answer to every question in the quiz on the 10 secrets...
So, each week, we will cover at least one Vanilla Challenge and one Sex Secret.
For the most amazing sex possible, I want you to have a copy of my book, Anytime...for as Long as You Want and will include a link for an immediate download when you sign up for the 10-week course.
Enroll Now Live Classes! Cheerful & Complete Refund if Not Completely Satisfied!
Spend 30-minutes on the phone with me for free. This is personal, one-on-one question and answers about what-ever problem or goal you might have. I recommend that you wait until after you attend or listen to the 10-week teleseminar classes; then, your questions will be on a different level. You can also teleconference your lover into the call. But, whenever you want, the beginning or the end--I'm offering you a free 30-minute consult. When you're ready to book the appointment, just send an email to DrRunels@Runels.com
Usually people pay $1,500 and up for seeing me or consulting with me by phone about these problems So, I feel like the $97 price puts what I know within the range of more people.